obviously a battle royale survivor.

2007-09-24T17:03:00.000+08:00

try going to here instead.

Sook Sook

2007-03-16T05:16:00.001+08:00

Gorgeous sleeper.

Then..

2007-01-17T05:49:00.000+08:00

.. it wasn't so bad after he sent me a text: 'Shah.. whatever happens, i'll always be ears to listen to u n a shoulder for u to cry on'. Alia calls him the sweetest asshole.

At Kiara

2007-01-17T05:43:00.000+08:00

Waiting glumly. It was fucking long wait at that.

Sleep

2007-01-09T05:51:00.001+08:00

Please try to sleep...

2006-12-29T15:39:00.000+08:00

-this one's interesting. i got it off Yahoo! Answers:

Do people who were born blind, see dreams?
No, they wouldn't. Visual stimulus is necessary for the wiring of the brain centers that process and interpret vision. The way the brain works is to develop, early in life, a huge number of neural synapses (connection points between neurons that are used in cell-to-cell signalling). As you grow and learn, these synapses are pared away to make the brain function efficiently, and that's the central basis of long-term learning. However, if the brain or any part of it fails to get infromation from hard-wired inputs, then that part of the brain will atrophy (at best, fringe areas of a cortical region might be adopted by adjacent cortical regions for different processes). But the take-away message here is that the brain needs visual stimulus in order to devolp the cortical regions that process vision. In the use-it-or-lose-it sense, the brain will not waste energy building and maintaining processes that aren't used. The optical cortex would never know how to function as an optical cortex in a person born blind.

2006-12-28T12:57:00.000+08:00

-i hope everyone's ok in taiwan, but now i've to resort to blogging on my blogspot. cos xanga's down. and msn. so now i have nothing to do online but watch porn. and check friendster and myspace. i thought it was tmnet, so i was cursing it the whole day, cos izan was telling me that her net was lagging too. then i chatted with marky and he said internet was lagging too.. so i was convinced that a satellite had fallen from the sky, which is what i told dill.

-it was just about the same; there was an earthquake. this morning, i read the morning headline, and it said that it'd take 3weeks before all the mess is fixed. shit.

-there was a shoot for a car this morning, the BMW 130i [which is fucking ugly and useless], and i did my hand at styling the shoot. i fixed the baju, so i brought most everything in my wardrobe, and turned out well. the guy was fine. the girls though, were fucking ugly. they look like shtupid 12yo girls. and i hate shtupid 12yo girls. i had to painstakingly put together baju for them to make them look at the very least okay.

-we've decided to go to that bond thing at impiana klcc for new year's. still contemplating on whether or not to go to that sunway lagoon thing. judge jules man. i didn't enjoy him a single bit the twice he was here. he's old. i think he needs to pack his bags and let it be for danny tenaglia. or even carl cox.

2006-10-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

nothing here? then go here instead.

2006-08-29T16:05:00.000+08:00

if you really wanna know what i wore today : )

2006-08-28T03:04:00.000+08:00

-if u might not see a new entry here, then it might be at my xanga. yea, it's up n running again. i feel awkward as hell blogging in here.

2006-08-27T04:34:00.000+08:00

-i'm really now getting fat.. everyone's saying so. i saw wanie, my ex, and she asked what was wrong with me. i asked "what?", to which she said i was fat. altogether from last nigt and tonight, i've probably had about 20 of my friends i hadnt seen in a while telling me i look 'sihat', which is a nicer way of saying i'm fat cos i'm so fat that my t-shirts hang off my tummy and it's hard to not notice. i can't even suck it in and breathe short breaths. i kinda like it though, beats being skinny and having people think i'm on drugs! then jimmy's not around to call me fatso, bitch.

murat sargin photography [link at right module]

2006-08-26T05:27:00.000+08:00

-i've been told that "telemarketing is not for a princess like [me]"... i won't take it to heart, but i'll very well agree to it; though it means that i won't even ever touch on telemarketing at all ever again. but if it might be a call girl job, it'd be a whole different story lah! so now, apart from the radio and stock broking jobs, i have my CV to pass on to lynfunkstar at zouk. speaking of lynfunkstar, at zouk earlier, whilst waiting to enter for PVT, i saw lyn pass me by, and i ended up yelling for "lynfunkstarrrrrrr! lynfunkstawwwww!", to which she screamed in complete embarrassment letting me know how retarded it was that i was calling her by her myspace name, which i personally think is sooo motherfucking kitcsh! so i had to let her know taht it was me - theinfamousshah - calling her, which led to even more embarrased laughter. it's a norm; i have so many people coming up to me asking me if i'm 'pink sweater' from myspace or 'theinfamousshah' from friendster or 'clubbersguidetoshah' from xanga. i'm a fucking celebrity in my own way... but i swear it's fucking hilarious to have poeple coming up to me asking me if i'm that person whose fucking handle is so and so. funny shit. i love it. i love it. even if it might make me sound like i have no other life than that on the inter-fucking-net!

-so tonight PVt was fucking rockin' and vic made me cream way to many times for my own good.. he was going at it like a fucking monkey and personally i think he beat mark n ray by miles and miles. so big fucking up to vic and hey to abang n ray.

-"big up"?! wtf?!

-at the moment, listening to loads of switch remixes, ashanti's 'rain on me', Qtip's 'breathe n stop', and eric benet's duet with fath evans in 'georgy porgy'.

-i'm tired from a sober night at fcking zouk.. i'm just gonna go now to get stoned, watch some l word and fall asleep.

meister

2006-08-24T19:43:00.000+08:00

-so i've resigned from the job. now i've fortunately got the help of liyana who's helping me find a job at either one of two radio stations, and zyra who's helping to either find a job at her production house or love international. then kak een's helping me get a job as a remiser's assistant. that sounds a little scary though; all these things with stocks n moneys scare me. blah blah blah. then maybe lynfunkstar was right, i shouldve tried the job at zouk with her.

-jimmy ray's friend, fabi, is in KL for the next two weekends, and i gotta take care of him. he looks kinda cute : ) since i'm back to being unemployed [for the time being, jimmy!] i might just start planning what to do during the weekends again.

is it?

2006-08-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

-been hanging out at lea's place the past few days after work, just that i didnt go to work today. i went by izan's place yesterday after work yesterday. can u pls imagine i left the office at 8pm last night; work ends at 6pm. hung out n izan needed some company and had dinner with her n zyra and i got so fucking stoned. at first i looked at the clock and it was still only 10pm and we complained that time went by too fucking slowly. then i realised it was 1:30am and i had work the next day. mum woke me up at 6am; i'd slept 3hrs before that. the thing is, it wasnt that i couldnt wake it, it was just that i didnt wanna wake up. in the past four weeks, all i've got out of my job was a measly rm110 for my ONE sale on my second day. so i wake up at 6am, and i usually get off work at 7-8pm; so i'm practically out for 13-14hrs a day, hardly get any sleep and i'm not being paid well enough; what more i look so hot when i go to work only to have to sit in my cubicle and talk on the phone for the whole working day. and i even work on saturdays. i dnt spend enough time in my room or with my friends, but alia's been busy sewing clothes and being moody anyway. at work, by the time it's 5-6pm i've lost my concentration and i couldnt be arsed to even talk to anyone i call or even say hello and introduce my package. and it's at the time when boss is screaming at the top of his lungs pressuring everyone to make a sale or we won't be able to leave. it's shit. then there's that psycho sam, whom thankfully hasnt asked me for car rides or even asked me to lunch. haha!

-i didnt realise how tired i was until today. mummy woke me up, but i didnt wanna wake up. so i slept and told mummy i was going to work later. when i woke up, it was 7pm! like i said, i didnt realise how tired i was until i finally got some realtime proper shut eye.

-sometimes i think maybe i should go to work in starbucks.

2006-08-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

-the last time i talked about the hilarious mcdonald's beef foldover ad. this time.. something else cracked me up. i was walking to my car frm work, and i saw this little toddle dressed so well in his khakis n adidas trainers n the cuuuuutest t-shirt that read: "my mummy calls me 'NO!'" i know.. it's so cute.

-it's been way too eventful the past week i hvnt put in an entry. sam the cute homophobic colleague has ended up being a psycho leech ala single white female... it's scary. it always happens to me ever since i was little. i'd be attracted to something or get attached to something, which ends up not being good to me n i'd be stuck to it adversely. like the time i was about 6years old; there was this cute mongrel puppy dog who'd hang out in the car porch n i'd feed it with mooncake i still remember. anyway, it took some liking to me, but the thing is, i'd feed it from inside the house through the window, so i'd never actually had any sort of contact with the puppy tau? then one day, i went to the park, and the bloody puppy remembered me i guess, so it was following me n chasing me around. at the time, i never really new how to handle animals; not even puppy dogs or cats and i'd get freaked out if they got anywhere near me. so finally, mummy had to help me get the puppy dog off me by practically putting me in the car n driving to the other side so that the puppy dog would follow us, then abandoning it there on the other side. i know it was quite mean, if it was now, i really wouldnt mind handling sticky puppy dogs. but now i dnt have puppy dogs, i have freaky boys hanging on to me. really it's fine if they were fit gay boys, but this is a nerdy, bengap straight boy who looks like he mightve been a prematurely born baby. oh god.. i'm gonna get banged for this. so yeah.. ends up sam was a freak who was stuck to me, and didnt know how to go back to his home; he even didnt change his underwear for 3days. i dunno why i never see these things; even my friends who'd met him at bond for the first time could tell he was weird. i'm a weirdo magnet. hot.

-yeah.. my bday was on the 16th last wednesday. i didnt tell anyone it was my bday.. so if no one knew then i wouldnt say anything. so we popped by loft that night cos ray was spinning with burger at scandalos. izan told ray it was my bday.. so ray said it out on the mic n everyone came up to me n asked me why i didnt tell them. so i had bottles n bottles of beer n jugs n jugs of long island n i dnt remember much as i usually dnt most birthdays. yes.. so i had a good birthday. i even thought i saw ning.. when it really was ning.

-i think i'm getting fat again cos i'm eating a lot again, and today, edalin pointed out my belly was hanging off my pants. no really. n she said i looked like a boyscout cos when i went to see her n een after work i had my tie on n my black cap. tee hee. i thought it was cute. maybe on my next fuck i'll dress up like that. hot.

-i wish i could write more... but i'm still in my work clothes n at lea's place n fucking tired n it's bloody 1/4 past 11pm. xxx then.

yezzah!

2006-08-15T15:16:00.000+08:00

-was listening to the radio on the way to work, and like those bumper stickers i talked abt a few entries before, i hvnt heard a radio ad that cracked me up. so on the way to work, i heard the mcd commercial for their new spicy beef foldover, which i might add is so fucking yummy. so there are two foldovers, the mcd's foldover tells the other: "i bet youre less full of it than i am." then the other says: "i doubt it." so the mcd folfover starts giving a list of what he has in him, like lettuce, onions, meat etc. the other foldover says "check" for all of it, until the mcd foldover says "cheese", then the other foldover keeps quiet. and then goes on to saying: "oh. you're slightly more full of it than i am!" i crack up like mad every single time it plays on the radio. but it obviously sounds better when u hear it on the radio than me writing it... so go listen to the radio constantly until u get to hear the ad. i love it! i love it!

-moving on about another joke i heard sometime last week from molly, while we were at hartamas square talking about eggs. but this joke has to be told in malay, so if u dont speak malay i cant translate it cos then it won't make sense at all. so molly asks tara: "macam mana nak masak air rasa telur? or how to masak nasi rasa telur?" so tara was stumpped la. then molly goes on to saying: "when ure boiling water, or cooking something, just rasa your bola lah!" did u get it? it took me 2mins before i got the joke.

-work's been hectic... i hvnt had anytime for myself. not even to get online. i'd get back home by 8:30pm, and by 10pm, i'd be washed up and too tired to eat or sleep. about sam [but let's call him sheikh cos it's his real name n hotter than sam], my colleague, we've been hanging out alot; having lunch n smokos. during my first week, he asked if i was muslim cos i have this worn out piece of string tied around my wrist, i said i was and that the string was given to me by my ex. then he said: "ooooh, i thought u were... u know different." n i said: "whaaat?! you thought i was gay ke??" then he went on to saying he didnt like gay people, which was fucking ouch. then i went on to telling him i didnt like gay people either n that i get taht a lot; that i'm gay. so yeah... i'm fucking in the closet at work, which fucking sucks. HOWEVER... earlier last week, he asked me what i was doing on sunday, and i said "nothing, why?" then he asked whether i wanted to go to a wedding with him? should i not get excited that he asked me to a wedding? isnt so goddamn weird that a 'straight' guy asked me to go to a wedding with him? i didnt go.. it was gonna be hectic. on friday night, i sent him home. he drove me cos i was sleepy, which was so sweet. but yeah.. he's 'straight' as an arrow cos he's so fucking jantan and seems to love his girls a whole damn lot. then there was his CD collection which he brought with him, and me so goddamned confused about him; he had il divo, and he also had blue! but then he had these two other CDs; one was cradle of filth, and the other is ethica. those two were like seriously black metal shit which was so fucking sick it almost made me fucking hurl! he made me listen to a track which was apparently satan banging at the virgin mary. i was gonna cry my eyes out, so i asked him to take it out and i looked through my own CD collection cos i couldnt layan his black metal... nor could i layan his fucking il divo or blue. i wanted to play some of my house music, but he couldnt layan that either. then out of nowhere, he asks me if i have fucking celine dion! how fucking gay is that? it's so gay, i actually had hidden somewhere at the bottom of my CD collection. i hardly ever listen to my celine dion CD, and i only had it for the last track when i'm feeling emo. so yeah.. we had to layan celine dion. on saturday night, i went to bong with alia cos vic n bob were spinning and we decided to bring sheikh along with us. alia was meant to be my pretend girlfriend cos yeah sheikh thinks i'm straight even if i think he's a fucking homo. but he felt out of place, which i felt bad for; he hates house music, he hardly mingled, and if he did, he was chatting up my friends, which was fine but he didnt seem to tickle their fancy. he did however dance with alia -_- i thought it was fucking embarrassing cos she was meant to be my pretend. but i dunno.. i'm so goddamned sure he's stuck in the closet and can't get out. or would it make him a sure straight guy if he's not ashamed asking for celine dion?

-rafiq bunny got a new haircut, which is so cuuuuute. u know i keep forgetting about birthdays, i keep forgetting mine's coming up way tooo fucking soon; i actually forgot abt my ex-gf's birthday. i remember her's was a few days before mine, but i keep forgetting whether it was 6 or 10 days before mine; the 6th of the 10th, cos mine's on the 16th. but yea.. i totally forgot about it, like i did last year and the year before... even when we were together. so fucking hopeless; but it's nothing personal, i'm just so bad with numbers. i'm so tired from work cos i dnt get enough sleep, and the workplace is so fucking cold cos it's central a/c. i'm practically freezing and my teeth r chattering whenever i'm on the phones. so saturday night, after bond, i crashed and fell sick. so i took yesterday and today off. another thing, for the past few weeks, lea was going on telling me about her pet hedgehog, cletus, which she found at her gran's kampung. firstly, i cracked when she told me his name was cletus, cos then his short name would be clit! hahahahahahahaa! so i was going about wanting to see cletus for weeks, but last week, i came to find out that cletus was a fucking cyber pet! that and i'm missing jimmy immensely :_(

-i'm out.

missing jimmy rim-me

2006-08-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

-my cute colleague, sam, i actually didnt know he was sales manager, but he's always helping the others out and always cheering us on when we're on the phone, tau. n the fucking thing is, i didnt realise i'm actually his goddamned replacement. n i dnt think he knew about it. this morning, when we had our morning cigarette - kevin big boss, sam n myself - i think i wasnt supposed to tell anyone kevin chose me to be sales manager. cos i was dressed differently today, in a shirt, tie n slacks n my hair not set up. kevin said i looked smart, and i said of course i looked smart cos i was vying for sales manager. then sam went "huh?" so i think he didnt know, and most of the day, he looked kinda out of sorts. some of us stayed back after work, up til 7pm. i had a cigarette with sam, and he went on to talking about how he's cooling down n how he doesnt wanna sell as much as he used to cos he needs to help big boss out. then he also asked me what my pay was gonna be, so i let him know. n he looked a bit upset when i told him. n the thing is, i need 5 sales to get sales manager; sam needed to make 15. when we went back inside, we saw that kevin was yelling at everyone to go home cos he didnt want anyone to stay back after 6pm; he thinks working extra hours would reduce productivity. of course, he always yells at us in a playful way; nothing serious la. then he also said: "sam! you too! i don't want you staying back after 6pm!" then boss went on to saying the only people who need to stay back are the managers, and he pointed at munawara, who's of course the new programme manager. then he pointed at me and said: "and shah too! soon he'll be staying back with me." i felt sooooooo bad, cos sam's face was so doooown.

-more later. i gotta eat now with alia n tara at htms sq.

2006-08-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

-woah! woah! woah! wooooaaaah! slowly! slowly! today was my 5th day at work , right? n i'd only made one measly sale so far out of over 500 calls. but it might only be due to the fact that i'm only 5 days old, i've hardly any experience in selling anything before, and i'm still learning my job and its tricks in trade. however, most people only make 1 sale in their first 2 weeks and they dnt usually make sales on the 2nd day at work. most of them dnt know how to start talking on the phone. the other people working there complain i talk too loud, but big boss kevin says he likes tht i have an ultra-audible voice. n he also pointed out that i'm an eager learner n worker. oh yes i'm so goddamn cool! n yes.. i'm making myself feel good about it, cos it is extremely hard work n i need to constantly keep my spirits up cos i'll be doscouraged a lot by constant rejections n declines. yesterday, i slammed my palms on my table and yelled "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" damn fucking loud cos i didnt realise i'd been talking on the phone for less than five minutes n i didnt even realise i'd been hung-up on. but that, big boss kevin says, is what he wants to see. he wants us to get pissed off if we dnt get through to a customer. so anyway, the reason why i went "slowly" was that this morning, big boss kevin asked me what my plans were; whether i wanted to stay with the company, or whether i was looking for a better job, or whether i wanted to continue studying. i went on to telling him that i found i actually enjoyed working with them n tht i might just stay to work with them. then he told me that he wanted to talk to me later cos he might want me to be in the "team". so, later he called me up with another one of my colleagues; a guy named munawara, whom i might add is a very good-looking manly man. oooooho weeeeee! goatee, crew cut et al. so, in the boardroom, we find out taht we'd been hand-picked to become managers; munawara would be big boss kevin's predessecor [sp?] as programme director, and i would be munawara's right-hand man, which is what is referred to as the sales manager. both of us were flabbergasted; we knew it was something good, but the thing is, when big boss kevin calle us into the boardroom, it was like we were in beeeeg sheeeeeeet! it was only my 5th fucking day, and here i am in the boardroom being asked to be the sales manager. how-fucking-ever, when the next week starts, i need to make 5 fucking sales. then i start shitting in my fucking pants. i'd only made 1 sale in the first fucking week, and now i'm being asked to make 5 in my 2nd week. presssssssuuuuurrrreeeeeeeeeeeee! as a sales manager, i need to keep my team together, and i need to constantly encourage them, and if i see any of them going through any difficulty, i'll be the one to help them out. it's an excellent excellent job, plus my basic salary is fucking banyak! AND if my team were to make a certain amount of sales in a week, i'd get extra commission. but so pressure. sooooo bloody pressure!

-that cute boy colleague of mine, sam, the one sitting right opposite me. i'm so fucking jakun, cos i keep peeping over the separator thing right? n he keeps catching me. two days ago, we had a meeting; sam, myself, munawara, n these two other new guys; azree who's cute in a melayu sort of way, and some chinese guy names george. anyway, they were going on being straight men, n i was feeling mighty out of place la right? cos they were going on about the admin girl's tits n all. i was on the other end of the meeting table with one leg resting on the other reading the newspaper held up in front of my face. then sam goes on to ask me if i had a girlfriend. i said no. then he asked why. n i asked him for what, which was pretty fucking gay of me. but then i realised big boss kevin asked sam to ask us that, cos sam's the sales manager n i'll be under his training. n the reason i was asked that was cos big boss kevin wanted munawara n myself to not be commited to anything else but the job. also, ends up the reason why this sam guy is so ultimately cute is cos his mum is an arab-dutch woman. he's sooooooooooooo white n pink in colour; he looks like a cotton candy.

-two nights ago, i met up with kak een, maricel n her sisters, jo n zahir, n frida n her bf at banana leaf at bangsar. they asked me what i was gonna do on friday night, and i said i wasn't gonna go out cos i had to work the next day. then they aaaaaaaaall laughed at me n started to make fun, cos usually i'd be the first one to make plans for the weekend, n there was i now in office attire saying i wasn't going out cos i was working. kak een even wanted me to repeat myself so she could take a video of it in her phone! i think she's getting back at me cos jimmy n i did the same fucking thing to her the last time when she used to go out a lot like she was gonna be forever 18 like peter pan!

-my bedroom seems so alien to me now. before i started work, i'd be this ultimate bum who'd stay in his room almost all day long watching dvds. now, by the time i'd get back, i'd be so knackered from work, i'd have a shower and crash straight away. then i'd wake up early n leave for work. today, i worked half a day, so i had a nap in the afternooon. i felt like i hadnt been in my room for ages.

-tonight, there's a bbq at lea's place for her dad's birthday. so i'm going off to head there now with alia n molly.

-ok lah. i'm talking too much. dinner time.

-the last time, halle berry was celebrity spread over the versace ad campaign, and i think it was big fucking yawn-inducer. it was sooooo booooring looking! this year, donatella has asked for the ever gorgeous jonathan rhys-meyers who was so fucking hot in vanity fair and matchpoint. in one of my past entries, i'd put in the video to justin timberlake's 'sexy back'. i really can't wait for future sex/love sounds, cos i thoroughly enjoyed his last album justified.

via ohlalaparis

2006-08-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

-so, the call girl job has been excellent. today was my second day, and i made my first sale; the first and only sale of the day. i guess i could be excited it being my second day and all. but my seniors make up to 4sales a day! but they've been around for years, though sometimes they dnt get sales at all; like today. in my last entry, i'd pointed out i saw a cute boy at my work place. big boss kevin ended up giving me a station right opposite his, so we'd be facing each other the whole day from 8:45am through to 6:00pm [i know.. damn long working hours right?]. at my first day yesterday, i realised he wasn't as cute as when i saw his left profile from a distance. today however, after two whole days sitting facing him, ends up he is ok-kinda-cute, but he's got an ultimately jambu face tho. but back to about work; on my first day, we had an afternoon briefing and big boss kevin was upset about tardiness. then he went on about how the newbies should come for every single training he offered, which is 11 in total for the whole week [including saturday; yes, i work saturdays too!]. then he went on to say that we should go for his training because he's really fucking good [he says la!]. then he took us up on a challenge: if after 11 training sessions, we don't make even ONE sale, he'll give us his salary. he asked all of us, but no one said anything. so i put up my hand, cos everyone else looked like complete idiot sheep not saying anything or reacting of any sort. i put up my hand n said: "i'll take ur dare; i might make more than one sale after 11 training sessions." then he said to me: "YOU! come here and stand next to me!" then he gathered the other newbies and asked them to wait in the boardroom. i was shitting in my pants then n thought: "hell, i'm a goner, sial!" i was standing next to him, and all my seniors were standing in front of us. so then big boss kevin calls for linda, the assistant big boss, and he says to her: "i want u to go in the boardroom, and fire their asses!" then he takes my hand to shake it and tells me well-fucking-done, and that he's very sure at make more than one sale after the week was through. shit i'm so cool!

-but it's great me starting working cos i feel normal; by the time it's 10pm, i've crashed n burned. i know it's half past 11 right now, but only cos i'd just come back from dinner; it's tara's birthday today [2/8] people! go wish him happy birthday! yes, it's the month of the lion, n my birthday's in 2 fucking weeks. i realised that the reason why i forgot about my birthday this year is cos i'm not too looking forward to it. last it, since i was expecting my birthday for 8 whole months since the new year, it felt like ages. but since i havent been waiting for my birthday the past 8mths of 2006, it's gone by so fast and *poof* my birthday's in 2 weeks! crap! i'm turning 23! it's fine when ure turning 21 cos ure only just an adult. it's also fine when ure turning 22 cos u just got out of 21. but when u turn 23 it's as if ure heading nowhere. i'm expecting it would feel the same just a little worse when i turn 27, 32, 39 and 41. after that ure a fucking old maid!

-gay men r so bitchyyyyyyy. i get a lot of msgs frm other skinny bottom boys, and listen, i dnt like squishing bums [direct translation of laga bontot in malay]. they think i'm a top. i dnt even think i look the slightest bit a top. so i put up "read: bottom [sorry guys]" as a headline for most of my profiles online, and today i got a msg frm a guy who prefers to not disclose his role [top or bottom], and his msg read: "i'm not sorry at all. erick." ouch. wtf? i'm sorry if he might be another bottom who took my headline to heart, but i'm sure he'd get mad if ppl sent him msgs asking him to fuck them.. i mean, if he was a bottom. or i might be getting the wrong msg. was he being a bitch? or maybe i should just take the headline off.

-i miss jimmy soooooooo much :_( but i better go to bed now. my forehead keeps slamming onto the keyboard.

2006-07-31T16:40:00.000+08:00

-i hate bumper stickers that read "if you can read this, it means you're too close", or those sticky yellow diamond things on windows that read "kangaroos crossing. next 5miles" or something like that. i dnt usually remember them cos theyre so fucking irritatin. but today, i saw one that i would never, ever forget. it read: "stop honking! i'm pedalling as fast as i can!" i ws stuck in traffic at the neraka pekililing bottleneck getting out of KL, and there was this car in front of me with that yellow diamond. i was so glad he was in front of me, otherwise i wouldve never known about it. i love it! i love it!

-i just got back frm my job interview. tmw morning i have to go in for training and i can start ASAP. yes! i got the job as call girl!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! and i'd met one of my colleagues, and he's so unbelievably cuuuute! so now i can be like theresa randel in girl 6. i love it! i love it! but really, it's a job for the regent hotel as a call centre exec. but still... cute colleague!

i'm girl six.. for sex

-last one, this boy is so goddamn cute. no tahan so thought to share.

david ashraff

2006-07-31T00:26:00.000+08:00

-this sucks immensely that jimmy's left for perth this morning. i was thinking of what the hell to do about an hour ago. n i couldnt think of anything to do. not without jimmy around. but at least now i can eat anything i want. i am - really - really fat right now, cos i've been eating constantly. last night, after dropping by iman's place, i was hungry and really wanted a special double chicken ramly burger at ampang jaya; they're the yummiest. and the thing is, i'd already eaten nasi kerabu only an hour ago, so jimmy insisted i not eat. worse yet he was driving. but he took me to the burger stand in the end, the sweetheart. but then i feel bad for myself cos i'm so fat, and most of my profile pictures are of me when i was skinny. but i get hungry so much.

-i never watched the film gol & gincu, but i only recently started to follow the tv series. at first i didnt bother, cos it only looked like garbage. it's actually very quite good; hard-hitting, sometimes i can't it take in. like this one scene where sazzy falak's character gets drugged and she's about to get stripped n have pictures taken of her. then there's the male lead who actually has HIV. n all these 'goody' type melayu kampong girls who are actually bitch sluts. it's hard. but it's what makes it really good frm the other local rubbish they show on tv. KL lights? what the hell is that.

-tehre's TV drama, then there's real-life drama. the shit's going all over the place again, and i really dnt know what hell to do abt anything anymore. at first i thought i could pretend like nothing's happening n it doesn't bother me, but everything's just gotten mighty worse. just when i thought he wouldnt drag himself into the whole mess and play at their game, he goes and does it. and boy, does he have a bitchy mouth. all these straight guys, you can never underestimate them!

-while i'm on the subject of straight guys, the news of boyband members coming out as gay is tiring. who the hell would be surprised? it's so stupid. thanks for coming out, we would have never guessed. but there's been some shortage on boybands, and i really can't handle these new 'boybands' in disguise as rock bands. wtf? pre-pube bands like mcfly, or sum41, or whatever; they're all boybands. but i think they should all just give up their rock dos and admit they're all boybands. they'd be muh cuter too.

lance was sure the press would be convinced he was straight

seriously, we're rockstars

-since i'm going on about boys, i wanna close with a clip from the movie rules of attraction, where yummy ian somerhalder's gay character and his hot best friend sing george michael's faith in bed. n i loooooove faye dunaway.

"well i guess it would be nice.."

weeeeeee! he's back again : )

2006-07-30T04:53:00.000+08:00

-got derrick may's track to be or not to be on repeat, i love it. last night, went to velvet to check out gabe spin with haze n camelia. at first i wasn't too sure if it was camelia singing, cos there was this big, big voice coming out of the speakers along with gabe's sexy spins. but it was her, and i totally dig her big voice, matching housey beats, compared to her classy play-safe ballad whispering. she does it so well too. except that she didnt sing as much as i'm sure everyone would have wanted her too. then at the end, she sung two new singles off her new album mysticam; seiring sejalan, which samples an old 80s malay track by sharifah aini or someone, and a housey track produced by gabe. n she's so pretty too.

pretty lady

-the whole morning, i was still drunk from last night i think, and i had to accompany mummy at her kindergarten. i thought it was only for an hour tops. but i ended up back home after 1pm. the rest of the evening, after a few hours napping, i had to show mum how to work the scanner. i'm sure almost everyone knows what it's like teaching an older person how to use a piece of techy equipment. it takes forever. n she has this little notebook, which i think is cute; it has everything from "how to turn on pc" to "how to print". things like that. n because of it, it takes even longer to teach her. but thankfully she gets a hang of it. when i do leave her alone sometimes to do her work, and i'd be in my room watching tv, i'd hear someone yelling indistinctly. the thing, is goddamn workspace is at the end of the study at the back of the house, downstairs. and it's mummy yelling asking me how to do soemthing. so i'd have to mute the tv and ask her what, and we'd be relay yelling msgs to each other, and i'd finally have to stop what i was doing, and go down and all the way to the back of the house where the pc is. only to have her ask me how to minimize a window!! but no matter. i've learned to be patient.

-speaking of learning to be patient n calmer, jimmy's taught me a lot in his own special way; taht's with his million-ringgit mouth. he's leaving early tmw morning at 9am :_( before, i would probably yell back a lot, be reckless and self-centred. i'd take a lot of things for granted. but i've learned my lesson through jimmy. thanks, bitch!

-the photographer who shot alia's dress on jasmine was at velvet last night. i'd initially thought he was this huge bitch with a boyfriend, but turned out he was friendly. not too friendly la. n he's sooooooo cuuute! he's got the sexiest place in the world, though it was at the other end of it, somewhere in the depths of cheras. it's a shophouse, and 2/3rds of the whole place is his photography studio in bare cement walls, floor n ceiling. his room was all white, and the shower faced the bed out in the open. it's so fucking sexy i swear. want him.

-so this one's for the sexy photographer:

Justin Timberlake ft. Timbaland - 'Sexy Back'

2006-07-27T23:33:00.000+08:00

-alia's finally posted pics of her dress up on her friendster, though they aren't too clear and u can't too tell what her dress looks like or how gorgeous jasmine is. but it might give u an idea of what the shoot looks like.

tominaga wearing alia asantra

-maybe later i'll get all the pics off alia and edit them myself.

-about last night... well i think i might have realised that my expiration period for men might be one night. i'm not talking about one-night-stands; i'm talking about guys whom i think i might hit it off with well. probable boyfriends; the ones i'd have follow-up dates with. so i took him out last night to bond n loft to meet my friends. by then, everything about him seemed so wrong, n it was already irking me a lot. today, i couldnt even look at him in the eyes. i sent him home in the evening, and i still haven't yet called him. i don't want to. to say that i wasnt attracted to him, i held onto his arm a lot and brought him back to my place. but i dunno.. maybe i'm basing all of this on his inability to dance. hahah! it was horrible, most of the time at loft, i sat myself on him so he wouldnt start dancing in front of my friends.

-but it's okay; baru first date after a long time being single. maybe i wouldnt be so mean if it were this guy:

nyum nyum nyum nyum nyum! delicioso!

2006-07-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

-you know, when i'd first signed up for myspace, 3yrs ago when i was in melbourne, i knew that somehow i was selling off my soul. you see, i've got what is called 'checking addiction', where i have a compulsion of checking anything over a few hundred times. things like: checking my mobile to see if i'd missed any text alerts, or constantly checking my myspace mailbox to see if any of my fans had left me a comment to tell me how sexy i am [har har!]. things like that. so basically, my signing up for myspace was a risk i took, and now i can't seem to let the fucking thing go. i'm just as much the loser who plays online games constantly sans shut eye.. or worse, an IT programmer. wtf?!

-point being: the past few days, i've been having problems with my myspace. nothing seems to load. all the pics just change to red Xs, and everything is so slow. the first time it happened, i restarted my browser a few times until it became okay again. and just now, it's happening again. this time, it's not turning okay again. and all those comments i can't approve! gaaaaaaaaaaaaahg!

on a much, much, much, much better note, my usual blog rolls have let me in on the best pictures in aaaaaaages, and i quickly forgot about myspace. i'm sure everyone's already seen the pics of david beckham in his tighty swimtrunks aboard cavalli's yacht. bliss. i swear he's teasing us. i've always thought beckham as having a small dick; you know, like english men do? i'm sorry if it's stereotyping, but i've always associated small dicks to english men, comfortable penises to americans, and big, fat cocks to australians. i mean, not that i've slept with enough to keep a demographic; but it's just they so look the part. but beckham's seriously packing it down there. i still can't get my eyes off the front. i've been looking at the pics for the last 10mins!

did u wanna pack lunch?

-i think he should've just signed a multi-million dollar deal with calvin klein, so he'd have huge billboards of him and his knob sticking out and the whole would be happy and shut up.

-after the longest time of being single [which includes not dating and extremely pathetically sporadic sex sessions], last night i've finally met up with a guy i think i might like. nothing happened, just enough talking to get us through to the second date, which is tonight. i'm bringing him along to scandalos, but i'll be seeing him for pre-drinks before. which means i should be getting ready now to get him. and i haven't even steamed by dress off its creases!!!

-again.. alia's dress next time.

2006-07-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

-recently, i got extremely fucking fat. today, i had to try on 4 different tops, because i looked bloated in all of them. then only did i realise it was my shorts. they weren't hanging off my hips. they were lodged right under my pouch. pouch. pouch.

-i really, really, really wanted to post pictures of the photo shoot of alia's dress up. on saturday, we waited from noon to 8pm for busty's dress to go on her model for the shoot. hair n makeup took ages, and there were twelve dresses altogether, but only 3 models. all three models were chinese; kit, jasmine and some other one. i insisted alia get jasmine because she was fucking gorgeous. she looks like ai tominaga, whom i think is fucking hot, with her thin pouty lips and cats eyes. but jasmine, is prettier, and you might not imagine. just bear and i'll load the pics up soon.

-initially, alia was on haute tension; worried that her dress wouldnt fit the model nicely, and that the hair and makeup she requested didnt come out the way she wanted, and that the chinese screen i brought as a backdrop might ruin the picture. alia's dress fit jasmine perfectly, it even perked her boobs up, and the hair completed the whole fucking look. i was flabbergasted and i mightve even jumped the model. i know it seems to frustrating u dnt get what it really looks like. soon enough they'll be up in the next entry.

-for the time being, here's ai tominaga.

aasodesuka!

2006-07-21T01:08:00.000+08:00

-i've been feeding myself with fried kuay teow [pedas gila, pls] constantly. everytime i eat, there has to be kuay teow. so i'll let u know of two places with the best kuay teow in the KL/selangor area. one is at asia cafe, in section 15, subang jaya. the other is in pj, behind the mppj building, at this quaint little restaurant called strawberry fields, which reminds me of strawberry shortcake. i know, it's quite gay that i remember my strawberry shortcake from my gi joes.

-i went into KL pekan after lunch with alia, cos she needed to get diamonds for her photo shoot on saturday. not her photo shoot, but a photo shoot of her dress on a model. the whole idea of her collection, which i helped come up with, was the abolishment of the whole 'politically correct' n 'gender equality' bullshit, and the celebration of women's sexuality. so in her shoot, the model will be standing on a pedestal, biting on a cigar with someone lighting it for her, n in her other hand is a champagne flute, and someone else filling her glass up. maybe someone else is on their knees fixing her dress. i know it's hot.

-so, i didnt see jimmy today, but i was remembered something abt him, which i wanted to share. he has this before-bed routine, which is to shit n have a cigarette, get out have another cigarette n go to bed. this one time when i was living with him in perth, i took his last cigarette, cos i thought he was asleep n i didnt know abt his before-bed routine. he went nuts to find out that he'd have to shit without a cigarette, n smoke another before his zeds. so what he made us do was to walk to the nearest petrol kiosk, which is a 90 minute [+/-] to n from. but tht's jimmy n his cigarettes.

-on the 8th of august, infusion, who r hot for their track the careless kind, r set to play at ministry singapoooooore. i wanna goooo sinchapow!

eat me

2006-07-20T19:44:00.000+08:00

-there's this malay phrase i just found out about, which i think sounds so cool: "bagai nak rak". from the context i overheard, i'm guessing it's meant to be "causing raucous". otherwise, i wouldve guessed something ruder like "getting fucked too hard til you rip". but then i'm gonna let it follow through with some pics from the malaysian movie industry, which i think is cool after watching anak mami kembali. what? i know. i couldnt get most of the jokes, but i kept laughing so hard cos azean irdawaty is fucking hilarious when she nags in that northern accent. she'd be "bagai nak rak", or maybe chef wan fits it better.

nak rak?

-it's all way to fucking cool for me, bagai nak rak. speaking of funny one liners, molly made one up: "if i wanna hear frm an asshole, i'll fart".

2006-07-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

maddox n mummy

whyyyyy?!

wtf?!

recovery lunching

kittins

-just wanted to share some things i picked off online. i thought the 'awww' factor of the pic of maddox n his mum was too high for it to not be put up. i want a vietnamese baby boy with a faux-hawk too :_(

-since i dnt have astro, i am 2 seasons behind for amazing race. i don't follow it religiously, only when i remember it's on. tonight, the brothers brian n greg were kicked out. whyyyy? they were beat by meredith n grechen, whom i dont want kicked out. i hate rob n amber, they suck ass cos rob is a homophobe who thinks he's so hot, and is quite an asshole to his girlfriend. i know who won naturally, the couple with the woman who looks like diana ross. good for them.

-beyonce's new single sucks ass, and everyone's been bangin abt it. but tht's not what's bothering me; what the fuck is up with the album cover? i want another dangerously in love album cover.

-the pic of jimmy n julie were our recovery lunch after julie's birthday celebration in singapore on the east coast, this was three weekends ago. i liked the pic jimmy used on his friendster, shot by me.

-last one's a pic of me n liyana at cox, sometime earlier this year. great chemistry. most other people i take pics with i look ugly.

-rushing off. bye.

2006-07-19T01:11:00.000+08:00

abg zubai, iman, jimmy jamm, jimmy ray, shah @ loft KL
missing u in KL, deh!
taken off jimmy ray's page

-i hate when i hvnt put in an entry in a while n i have too many thing to blog about, i dnt know where the hell to start. well.. at the top of my head, i'm going through this skin cleansing process, which works like magic. what i do is soak myself in a tub of warm water n diluted crystals, which are purple in colour. i dnt want to get into the details of it, but it's fantastic. however, my tub's inked with purple, and my nails are stained as well. i look like i've been digging graves. no.. not glam. i look like i've been drawing men in the nude with charcoal. or i got married to datuk j n i've got inai on my fingers.

-at first i was trying to figure out why the hell a rich woman like siti nurhaliza needed to get married to a datuk. then i realised, a woman like siti dsnt mix with her fans, or 'normal' people. she rubs shoulders with people like datuks, or other entertainers and their datuks. it's great she's getting married, and her being attracted to him seeing him taking care of his four sons is legit to me. i've fallen twice for single fathers. it just shows their stability and responsibility i guess.

-u know if there's a lot of mess happening between friends [or maybe between friends n unfriends], is it not friend-like of me to not want to get involved at all, at all? i haven't blogged anything about the drama surrounding my friends, because i actually find it completely inappropriate and useless anyway. not only that, but some opinions expressed won't help anything to get fixed. if it's broke, dnt relay msgs via blogs to fix it. everything nowadays seem to be all about fighting, frm israel fucking lebanon n palestina top to bottom, to little tiffs between friends. the sad part is not the fights, it's that it seems that nothing can be done to fix it. everything seems so completely useless... our group's gonna split 10 ways anyway. why can't we be friends? why can't everything be okay? damn.. i seriously need personal drama. i haven't had my own drama swasta in ages. old perhaps? i'm forgetting my birthday; mummy reminded me that it's in a month's time [16th of august].

-in brief:

need to get tickets to the puteri gunung ledang musical
find oskar roehler's atomized on dvd
lebanese poster against israeli attack reads: "make hummous, not war"; it's good they still have a sense of humour through their hard times
ruffedge cd has been sold out everywhere.. currently choicing their track 'lelaki'

-nein much to blog.

2006-07-13T01:02:00.000+08:00

-nothing much to blog about, 'cept tht the spring 2007 collections are out, and i've been digging up men.style and gq style a lot. for the summer, it's seems to be very, very preppy; think catcher in the rye n abercrombie ad campaigns. go to the dolce n gabbana website to check out their new ad campaigns.

versace
south of france playboy; dressing up dressed-down
note: loose clothing [not baggy] n nicely cut loose trousers [on left]

bottega veneta
note: carry all bag.

dsquared2
'abercrombie' summer
note: shorts n docksider loafers [on right pic]

[left] etro; [right] gucci
pirates and cowboys
note: etro re-using the band/napoleon-style jacket dolce did last winter [still hot] n gucci's skinny cut striped trousers [if i wore them, i'd look like a pre-puberty boy!]

dolce and gabbana
the hot tennis pro look ala rhys-meyers in woody allen's matchpoint
note: low-cut tennis cardigans

dolce and gabbana
20s soccer player look
note: red-striped shirt

dolce and gabbana
what holden caulfield might wear going to the show with sally hayes
note: short cargo shorts [on left]

burberry prorsum
20s hollywood
note: lose pleated white trousers

louis vuitton [left]; issey miyak [right]
note: perfect white cotton vuitton pants; miyake sport cardi

paul smith
note: trousers [at left] n excellent exit ; )

roberto cavalli
going safe with the usual million-dollar playboy look
note: tiny print shirt [no stripes!]; naomi looking fabulous as ever

2006-07-12T01:19:00.000+08:00

weekend kids - julie's birthday celebrations

-i know i didnt pick the best pics, but only cos i had to take them off some myspace profile pages. i still can't seem to get into julie's multiply, which has an odd-100 amount of pics from her birthday weekend. but let's go through these pics clockwise from top left: liyana n julie with her very animated story-telling; wanie [i thought this was a nice pic i took]; alia, liyana n julie all looking very gorgeous; alia n liyana playing with sex cards; jimmy heading for the food; liyana n i looking like hell the next afternoon; julie getting her do done; the next morning horsing around in bed; alia n julie getting done; julie n her boyfriend, the cutest guy, munir.

-these past few nights, i've been having the most vivid dreams. i've never had dreams so vivid before, and i wonder if there is any sort of explanation for it. is it cos it will happen? or maybe i might have some sort of clear head? i called jimmy in the evening, and he sounded sleepy. i remembered i called him earlier in the day, and he was sleepy as well; grumbling a lot on the phone. but no, i didnt really call him. it was a goddamned dream i had while napping in the afternoon. there's something happening at 7ate9 this weekend, ned is spinning with simon beaumont, and i'm really quite looking forward to it. i dreamt i went to 7ate9, but instead, there was a host of gay people, and fendi had a short bob instead of his crew cut. i remembered especially saying 'hi' to one gay friend and giving him kisses on the cheek. but it was so real the way the place looked and how real everyone felt in my hands. and somewhere further on in the same dream, i was with my boyfriend [no, i don't have one really], and he's this guy i chatted with once or twice n got hearts from on fridae [directsound ;)]; this malay-chinese guy, dean or ken or something like that. so jimmy was with his friend, and i was with dean, and dean kept kissing me a lot n smiling n looking at me the way someone else i know used to. n jimmy kept giving me this look "yeah, he's cute". i actually woke up thinking i have a boyfriend. then there was the sad dream i had a few nights back about daddy. this one was a bit different cos i was a little boy, but the situation i have with my dad now is the same. it was a surprise lunch, where daddy suddenly showed up. we didnt talk at first; he was going on with his conversations with everyone, but i kept looking up at him from the side. but then i couldnt stand just looking at him, i gave him a hug, which i hardly could cos i was smaller than he was, and i just started crying like a baby. i guess if u think of things a lot u start dreaming it. n when u dream them enough, they might come true. or my grandma used to say: if u dream of a person, it means tht person is thinking of u. so i have this guy dean or ken, whom i hardly know, thinking abt me? thank god!

-am i slow or was it okay for me to watch v for vendetta again cos i didnt get it the first time? sometimes, i actually find myself rewinding cos i don't get some of the lines. i don't really care if i don't understand most movies, but vendetta sounds like an excellent script with some good lines. cliff's notes for vendetta pls?

2006-07-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

it's why singapore is for lovers

-i want to open with a spongebob joke from the episode where the evil plankton tries to steal a krabby patty from the krusty krab. plankton has this machine that breaks up anything and reads out the ingredients. so if u break up a krabby patty, u might get a reading like: 20% crab meat, 10% pig fat n so on. so, plankton shows spongebob how it's used, so he drops in a piece of seaweed, and the reading comes out as: 50% sea and 50% weed. hehehehehehhee! i thought it was fucking hilarious, so i wanted to share.

-since there was the most excellent singapore weekend, i didnt blog much + time to recover for much needed malaysian sleep. n since i hvnt blogged for about 4days [?], i have a long list of things to blog about. i just dunno where the hell to start.

-julie's birthday was a blast. i won't talk much about it, but i'll leave some pics in here to let them do the talking:

[later; cant upload any now]

-speaking of things to celebrate about, i know a lot of ppl r still ecstatic about italy's win in the world cup. that was fucking amazing! i've never been excited about a world cup before, cos in the last two world cups, none of my teams won, but when grosso scored the fifth penalty, i went nuts. alone in my bedroom, cos no one wanted to stay at the mamak to watch extra time. tara was convinced that france would win, that's why he wanted to leave. it was just ultimately sad that zidane had to do the head-butting stunt into materazzi's chest. stunning exit? henry played a fine, fine game, racing the ball all the way to goal everytime. but might the both of them have stayed in the game, france could have won. obviously it was sad that portugal couldnt win third place, but if germany didnt, it wouldve been quite the embarrasment. portugal games are always exciting, they're young and fast, and cristiano is an excellent actor. heh! but for germany to have podolsky is a gift.

-was reading the papers, and almost choked when there was a piece going on about extending nightlife curfew to 5am for the cause of tourism. i don't support it because malaysians r fucking irresponsible; i'm not being self-righteous, i know most malaysians r irresposible party people even if we're a damn up-for-it crowd. however, KL nightlife is really happening, and i think it's what rakes the tourists in. the shopping isn't as fabulous as it is in singapore or bangkok. what else is there really to do in KL? go to batu caves?

-last wednesday night i was at home, with nothing to do at all, so i decided to watch a movie on national tv [i don't have astro you see]. it was called i do, but i don't, starring denise richards and c-list hottie dean cain. i was gagging, because it's a cheesy rip-off of j.lo's the wedding planner. i think any movie that has tony benet's 'the way u look tonight' in it, is definitely cheesy, but this one had michael buble's rendition of the benet hit, making it extra-cheesy.. but cheesiness has a certain magic to it; when the sweet scenes start rolling in, u actually find urself squealing a little bit more than normal romantic comedys. or maybe i'm cheesy. no actually, i'm just lonely. however on another time, i watched white oleander halfway on tv3. u know, the one with michelle pfeiffer [whom i think is forever hot], and rene zellweger. that one looked like a good movie, so i didnt watch it til the end cos i wanna get it on dvd.

-oh god, i've turned out to be one of those ppl i bang about all day; the ones who sit in front of the tv watching sad movies cos they're plain loners.

2006-07-05T17:23:00.000+08:00

le sigh

-i'm gonna start off by going on about this morning's germany italy game. it was fucking maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! germany played a good game, but italy was really fast at it. the goal by grosso was fucking gorgeous, with the excellent help frm pirlo. but that second goal by del piero was fucking sneaky, getting germany at probably their weakest point. but hey.. u gotta be fast at ur feet, man.. and sneakiness wins u everywhere, especially a 2:0 victory against their host.

-next is france portugal, and portugal r like babies compared to france n italy, but i hope they get through the finals against italy.. let's see how it goes.

-so, we'll be heading down to singapore this weekend [aaah blisss] to spend the weekend with julie fo her birthday. m quite looking forward to it, much more than being cooped up in stuffy KL. we're going to have a good time n not think abt anything retarded. i hope.

-i was watching the television last night, and on the news, they were showing recordings from the dewan rakyat or the national congress [is what i think it's called in english. anyone to correct me?], and what i saw were kids at the playground n not politicians in an important hall. a DAP [a chinese majority party] head from perak or something was going on about making sure school kids have extra-curricular activites; i dnt know if he said anything wrong, but they whole hall was throwing outbursts n insults at the chinese head, and some of them were actually mocking his chinese accent. and on another occasion, when a sarawak head got mad, he kept yelling like a little kid, and when the big guy told him off, he went on to say something like "he started it not me". is this a normality? do they go at each others' heads like that?

-a week back, i watched america's next top model cycle 5 [i think it was cycle 5], where naima won. i knew the results before it started showing on 8tv, but after watching the whole cycle, i thought kahlen should have won the whole thing. naima, after a while turns out to be utterly boring, she has no personality. yes she may be good at everything she does, but u dnt really know who the hell she is. she's boring. n after a whole season of watching her, u actually decide she's ugly. kahlen is fucking gorgeous, even if she's not as exotic as naima is, but she looks like a real-life model; someone you'd see stride down a cavalli catwalk. the whole world probably knows her better than naima, and she's tall; her body is well-proportioned. it's such a pity naima got through.

-i learned a new word today: lackadaisical - Lacking spirit, liveliness, or interest; languid

2006-07-04T15:48:00.000+08:00

scandalos 28.6.2006

-some fine nights usually turn out tiring in the end; mundane, routine, and everything else that make things dull.

-still in the midst of deciding where i should continue blogging: here, xanga, or my old livejournal. i like it here cos my blog looks so pretty in the pink and black, and i can edit it thru html. but i think i can get blind if i keep editing html. it's just that there isnt the "currently listening to" feature they have on xanga. but this doesnt look as cluttered as my xanga page does.

-i play around with a lot of tests online, and they usually have html codes attached to them so u can share it with everyone to see. i just did this one advanced global personality test, and it might show everything about me down to the last detail of my being 'mystical'. mystical? i'll copy n paste my traits, but i won't paste the whole graph, which contains 34 different personality subs. these subs include things like narcissism, vanity, hypersensitivity and peter pan complex which i scored highest in [90%], without any pride in it, unless i really was peter pan the boy who never grew up. but i've actually come to a point when i dont really like looking at pictures of me when i was 17, or even 20. now i understand why my mum used to get mad at me when i was younger n i liked looking at the pictures of her when she was younger and asked her to put them up.

trait snapshot:
expressive, open, self revealing, loves large parties, loud, social, outgoing, does not like social isolation, assertive, social chameleon, positive, always busy, likes to fit in, likes to stand out, enjoys leadership, brutally honest, trusting, optimistic, desires attention, dominant, aggressive, attachment prone, wants to be understood, realistic

-i might beg to differ on a lot of my 'traits'. so i will conclude that this test is completely useless. or would anyone agree with what they say?

2006-07-03T19:32:00.000+08:00

-finally getting the hang of this thing, just that now i'm stumpped [sp?]. stumpped in a sense tht i'm starting over on a blank sheet of paper. u know, if ure sitting on the table n ure asked to write something - anything - n ure just dumb for the longest time staring at the blank sheet? that's what this is like. i know it's only blogging, but i feel almost awkward. also that i have to start censoring myself. i won't be able to say as much as i did in xanga. it's sick that i have to go against my own principles of blogging without caring for anyone's words, but i won't repeat what i'd said in my last entry.

-on saturday night, we were meant to check out the england portugal game at laundry. by the time we got there, right before kick off, the place was like a fucking circus; it was like a mamak! there was no place to sit, everyone seemed to be stealing tables and chairs from everyone else. we ended up watching the game at zouk of all places. the next games are italy germany, and portugal france. i'm betting my money on portugal and germany going to the finals, since the home ground team usually have a 60% advantage of winning. however, france beat brazil, and i hope portugal beats france, even if it's by one goal. but france are like the old reliables, and hell they might beat portugal out of their boots. but then again, even with the neat tricks, brazil has been playing like the english throughout the tournament. but i will not be totally ass against the english team, i do sympathise, whay with becks giving up captain.

-a few nights before that, i watched the film the hills have eyes. all i can say is that i hate american culture for spending money on a piece of shit like that. being a shit movie was fine, but for it to be offensive was sickening. there was a rape scene, there was a gun being pointed at a real-live baby, and there was so much gore. i usually dont complain much for gory films [i did enjoy texas massacre], but that just shows how bad hills is.

-ugh.. this is boring.

2006-07-03T02:24:00.001+08:00

-i blog a lot. i've been blogging since i was straight. hahahahaha! tht might sound like it was a damn long time ago; is 5years a long time in blogging time? i always went on about how if u start a blog u have to accept some consequences, mainly what people might think of u, and tht ur life was way out in the open. this is cyber-fucking-space, dude. so yes, i did think of what i was getting myself into when i wrote my first entry on xanga. unfortunately, i can't put the link to my xanga in here as much as i would love to. where was i? oh yea... so i started blogging, but ends up, i wasn't the one who would be suffering the adverse consequences of my blog, it was other people; people who are close to me; whom i dote upon tremendously.

-i made my xanga private from the whole world to see [sadly], and at this moment, only a few people can read it. none of u might be able to. tht's why i'm actually blogging here, cos i love writing n i can't seem to shake it off like mariah can [gay!]. but the problem is, i have blogs on xanga, myspace n multiply, and to make my myspace n multiply blogs private like on xanga isn't as easy. should i delete them? should i just delete my xanga since there is no use to blog anymore? should i delete five years of my life chronicles [tht's so fucking indy jones]?

-it's difficult starting over 5years. i'm not going to be mad at the people who cause all this, i'm just staying calm like how i've taught this new-fangled self. i'm just upset at what my close friend has to go through. i'm dissappointed in the people who cause all this. it's sad to see how some human beings need to be so shallow and narrow minded; how some people have not grasped the concept of minding their own business n being adults. so sad. sad. sad. sad.

-so, welcome to my blogspot. people go on abt how it's better than xanga, so what the hell i should just give it a try. it's still a bit confusing to work since i've been so used to my xanga, but after 5 good years with xanga, it's refreshing to restart blogging here. i haven't deleted my xanga, i've only just merely made it private.

-on a more refreshing note: a big "hell yeaaaaaaaaaah!" to portugal for butt-whipping england 3:1 thru penalties. i never fucking thought i'd overreact the way i did when portugal won. i might've even poured my eyes out if they lost to england. ecstatic, ultimately ecstatic over their win. portugal vs. germany in the finals maybe? hell yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!